The Cable (Dish) Guy

"There was this one time, when I was single..."
I allowed a girlfriend to set me up on a date.

Oy.

He worked as a cable dish guy.  He was a nice looking fellow… showed up on time. We’re at my place talking for a bit.  The plan was to go eat and catch a movie.


OK… let me interject here. My cousin, Mary..  Was my “phone-a-friend” to get me out of a date I was not enjoying. I’d call her. She’d call me in the time told and tell me she needed to me to come… it was a "family thing"… you get the picture. My ditch-a-dull/creepy-date call.   She was the Thelma to my Louise.    And at this point, she was a newlywed, pregnant and had moved to Texarkana, Tx.  

Back to the cable dish guy... seemed nice enough, very talkative. Now, I don’t normally “define” someone by what they do for a living.  The reason I refer to him as the "cable dish guy"… was IT WAS ALL HE COULD TALK ABOUT!!! 

It was like that “There was this one time, at band camp”… That movie had come out the year or so before and that's all I could hear... only it was,"There was this one time, I was installing a dish and...."

Within 20 minutes he’d told me four (not so) exciting stories about him installing cable dishes.  One was about a snake under a house, the other was when he fell off an house, one I’ve forgotten, and the other was that he actually installed TWO dishes for the one rich doctor.   Oy.    This was the longest 20 minutes of my life.

So, I excuse myself to the restroom.. and make The Call:

Cuz,”“Helloooo”

Me (whispering),”You got to call me with an emergency in 10 minutes"

Cuz (giggling),”he he he he he”

Me,”^$^$^(*, Call ME!!! I’m serious! This guy tells me one more cable dish story.... I’m gonna scream!”

Cuz,”Cable dish story?”

Me,” Please just call, when he’s gone I’ll explain"

Cuz,”10 minutes?”

Me,” Yeah… we’re suppose to leave in about 20 minutes, so yeah.. I don’t want to leave here with him”

Cuz (still giggling)," Ok... 10 minutes"

I go back to my “date”. He goes on and on about.. you guessed it.. the advancing technology of cable dishes. (shoot me..) And technically, he was talking about satelitte dishes...

10 minutes pass…. Hmmmm….. 15 minutes….
OMG! I’m gonna kill her! I swear! I knew she was jacking with me. and I'd already begun stalling about leaving.

At this point, he's quoting me a price on a cable dish.   (He was willing to work me a deal)

I'm mentally disowning Thelma.

RING! RING!

At this point I'm pressing the phone to my ear so he can't hear her cackling.

All he hears is me telling her that of course I can come to Texarkana now. 

He offered to drive me there.    Ummmmmm....passsssssssss!

He leaves.  I call Mary... she was quite pleased with my reponse.  Grrrrrr!

And of course called my friend that had "set me up"    Double Grrrrrr!

And believe it or not... I actually let this same girlfriend set me up again... but.. that's another story.... I'll tell you one day.  A snippet?   He asked me if I had money for gas so he could get home... Sha!